Learning Truth

Too heavy
but not heavy enough.

I can't start walking because
I don't want to come back.

If I leave now without
mounting it all,
I wont stay on track
Ill stop and reload

and I can't do that.
Too much to carry

but not heavy enough.
There's more but I need just a little slack

I know I can do it.
I just need my muscles
to bounce back
and save the lack

of patience, strength
and power

I feel when I know
I don't want to come back.

I have to take it all in,
I have to revamp
but I can't walk until
I understand

what this means
why I'm here.

The journey placed before me,
the journey unwelcome.

The journey I never asked for
the one whose importance
i can't deny,
the force within me,

that pulls me so I never
have to come back.