Growing Up: A bunch of thoughts on fake friends, laziness and progress

The other day someone made a comment towards me that reallly bothered me. Honestly there was no sense in arguing it because it came out of self pity. I let it go. Today I reflected on it again. It's still not worth me responding.

I was thinking about my life and all the hardships, I don't name. I mean really what's the point. The hardships I have endured have molded me but they are not me.

Last week I interviewed my parents and one of my cousins for a school project. I felt so connected to them after the interviews. My research was about understanding our identity as a critic. I learned and remembered things about my family that are a very intricate part of who I am.

I realized the importance of community knowledge in my life. I realized how deeply rooted my desire to help others and to construct a prosperous (spiritually and physically) life for my family really are.

I've talked about my parents being immigrants before, to me this is not a struggle but a blessing. I've talked about being a single parent. I've talked about over-coming abuse. I've talked about my struggles right now to get my life in financial and spiritual order. Every day is a current and new struggle. I embrace these struggles. I am grateful for them.

I also understand this doesn't mean these events have to define my goals and my happiness. My future consists of the way I handle these problems. The way I carry myself and compose my reality of what life is.

I have a wall of things I can control and a wall of things that are out of my power. As long as I choose to work on the things I can control the wall of things I can't will work itself out.

Sometimes I feel that I give up on people too easily. Lately, maybe it's because I've identified the type of people I want to be surrounded with. I don't mind listening to whining, or complaining as long as that speech is accompanied by action to move along and create new options. I see that strength and value it in all of the people I consider inspirational friends.

I have aligned my extracurricular work with activities that also foment this desire to grow and learn.

I've learned there is a big difference between doing something and doing something well. I understand I am tired of laziness... I need action in my life. Constant positive action. I have been reminded you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

In the end, I have decided to continue growing and remembering who I am. Not forgetting I am a daughter of a Heavenly Mother, whose divine qualities I've inherited. I am not afraid to be vulnerable, to be kind and at the same time I am not afraid to defend my peace or the one of those I love.


Anonymous said…
I really like your writing style you are very talented. I hope you can achieve all your goals and can become happier. I would like to give you some advice or just my opinion. Be careful when saying “self pity” because we don’t know the heart and the circumstances of the people for us it may seems as self-pity but it may be the consequence of depression, emotional tiredness or exhaustation caused for trying and trying and trying and not getting anything. You have a gift, it is your inner strength, but remember everybody was gifted different. Also, be careful of leaving people out of your life because you might be losing the opportunity of being surrounded by wonderful people just because you couldn’t comprehend them or judge them too easily. I’m just saying. Keep writing!
IG said…
great post flor.

everybody has hardships. its ignorant to believe anyone has a monopoly on struggle. you have gone through so much in your life and what makes you an inspiration is that you have not allowed yourself to be defeated. i love you for your inner strength determination and humility. in all my years of knowing you, you have never judge anybody. your compassion is tied to the fact that you have overcome so much and that you continue to push through all that you have to in order to succeed and to make a future for us and our babies. i love you flor. keep going how you going. real recognize real, stay true and u will be surrounded by those who are real too.

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