Today I learned something new, remembered something old and decided I'm gonna keep both close to my heart. I was asked to be on a panel of inspiring Latino students after the screening of "All She Can" a 2011 Sundance film sponsored by the Latina sorority at the University of Utah, Kdchi Utah.
I don't know why I said yes. I usually make up any excuse to avoid speaking in public. I also don't like talking about things i've overcome, even on my blog I analyze posting certain things for days before I put them up. And when I do I always make sure they have a positive spin or happy ending. But yea, in general, I hate speaking in front of people, I mean that's why I write!
This is the thing I remembered, as I walked up to the front and almost walked out, when I was little I would write my mom letters to tell her how I felt. I would write things down in my journal, and now I write on my blog. But when I have to face a room and speak my mind goes blank and I start saying, "um" A LOT.
|Not the greatest pic but thats me with the bangs!|
Gotta admit I am glad I said yes this time. I think it was meant to be. After we left I stopped and chatted with a person I consider a great inspiration and mentor, Jenn. I had texted her a couple days ago and told her I was nervous, she said, "You'll be fine." Tonight she asked me if this was my first time doing this, and I told her it was, she was like OH OK no wonder you were nervous. Then she reminded me that my story was an important story to tell and that I should be happy and proud of my accomplishments and all the things I have overcome. I stopped for a second to process that.
I know that I have come a long way and next semester I will be applying for graduation. I will be done with something I have been dreaming of completing for A LOONG time. Maybe to some people this is just another step and so many people before me and after will do the same. But to me, it is a really big deal and I have fought my way up to this step in life, kids and all. I don't remember when I decided to go to college or why, I just knew I had to do it to make my parents sacrifices worthwhile and in the process I found myself. I found what made me happy. I can never let go of that.
I can never let go of what I remember, and I will never stop learning. I know I am important. I know my life has a purpose. I won't stop dreaming, because I know I will reach the top.