Journalising- Taking control of what I can change
Today I decided to take out some old journals to pump myself up. I was talking to my husband about some negative vibes I was receiving and absorbing. From hearing myself talk I remembered how little I've always cared what others think or assume about me. I know I am so valuable, I know I need to maintain humility but at times that confidence and poise makes people who are not confident feel uncomfortable. I know that I am NOT lucky. I know that I am blessed because I deserve to be blessed just for being a daughter of God. I know life is not perfect so I will have bad days but I also know it is my choice to work those days out. I found some quotes from my journals:
March 7, 2009
"Life flips when you look at the bright side, got the future on my mind which makes today a work in progress and as I work you better believe i'll whistle."
January 11, 2005
"Vamos a ver, si tengo un poco de miedo no se como va a salir todo pero voy a tratar de hacer lo mejor que yo pueda."
"The most important thing I realized from my process up to this point, is that I have my own mind and soul in order to make my own choices. Right now I choose to be happy."
Reading over my journal entries I am reminded how much and for how long my inner happiness depended on others. So, so annoying!
Letting go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables in life made all the difference. The day I realized there was an entire wall of things I would never be able to change. Which at the same time were intertwined with other opportunities for change. I gave myself permission to be free from things I was not responsible for. So that I could concentrate on my true responsibilities. Then life became effortless and peaceful. When I allowed myself to get rid of perfectionism and stress. I know I am capable of so much in it's due time. I realized today I don't have to do everything. Today I need to do what is necessary for today.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"
Today I will accept hardships as a pathway to peace taking the world as it is, not as I would like to have it.
An exercise I completed in my journal to put these words into action was to make a chart with two columns: one for categories, one for reasons why these things, people, places and situations were unchangeable. Then I found parts of those unchangeables that were in my control.
Category Reasons (why I can't change this & how I can get around it)
my house- I can't get out of my lease right now so I can't control
where I live what I can control is that my place is
clean, organized and happy.
Another exercise I found in my journal was filling one page with things I cannot change or control then filling another page for things I had control over. It really helps to see things in perspective when you write them down.
I had a great time Journalising today. I am very happy with myself for all the great things I have accomplished in my young life. I have so much more to do and to learn. I am excited and happy to keep at it.