"Mom, why are you so brown and I'm so white?"

I love being Natalia's mom. She has a personality of her own ;-) Even though I know she picks things up from me and the rest of her family, here and there, she is Natalia.

She looks like Natalia. 

She acts like Natalia. 

When she was little I had this conflict because some of the people around me concentrated so much on pointing out she was so light and I was so dark-skinned. It would frustrate me. Some people would even say,

"She looks nothing like you, she's so cute!."

maybe not maliciously, maybe yes. I don't know but it would make me feel sad that my daughter didn't look like me. 

One day I was at the store and a lady said,

"wow she is so cute! Are you baby-sitting!?"

ughhh! 
One afternoon Natalia asked me,

"Mom, why are you so brown and I'm so white?"

She was 4! 

I felt so sad that we were already having this conversation, but I was happy she trusted me with her little worries. I told her, everyone is different colors, skin is like coloring pencils or crayons, no two colors are exactly the same. I compared all of our family members arms and showed her how we are all different shades and we were all beautiful. 

Sometimes when I hear or see parents cringe at the idea of addressing color and race I remember the moments I've been able to talk about it with my kids. It's not something we should cringe at, instead something we can learn to embrace ourselves and so transmit that appreciation to our children. 

If they see us avoid these issues now, they will learn to ignore them when they are older as well. These are topics that cannot be ignored forever.

My Natalia is adorable, and I have come to terms that because her skin is lighter than mine some people will assume she doesn't look like me. (even though we have the same face shape, huge brown eyes, etc)

BUT WHO CARES! There's no denying I gave birth to her and I get to have a blast raising her because she is my daughter, my baby girl.  

This week, her dad and I, went on a field trip with her. It was cool to see her interact with her buddies. They think they are the cutest princesses ;-) Had to keep them grounded a couple of times! Ha ha. 

Love my mini. 












Little Garden Update: Probably transplanting next week! 
(We got some insulant blankets just in case)


Comments

IG said…
Nati really is cool and really curious and observant. Her and her little friends do think they run the place though haha love nati. the zoo was fun. hope we can go again soon.

some of the plants are huge!!! tomorrow..... we prepare the coup. lol
Karla Campos said…
Great lesson here, I agree with you 100% that we should teach our kids to embrace people and all of our differences. Your daughter is very cute by the way!
Jeannette villalta said…
Many families also go through those moments, I remember when my older son ask me the same question and with a lot of nature without doing greater enfacis in the topic I respond: We are unique that's why we are all different, can you see the rainbow? it is beautiful aah? what makes the rainbow so beautiful that everyone wants to see it? and he said: The colors. Aja!! Can you see now how important is the difference of colors? we all are different because together we make a beautiful rainbow and we can do amazing things. Each one of us are important. He was 7 when we talk about it and I think or I want to think he was pleased with the answer hahaha because he never ask again. Thanks for your topic and your blog I like it a lot, you have a very beautiful Family. =o)
Heather said…
I think she looks so much like you actually. I have a latina friend with a son who is very caucasian looking and does not look like her(because of her husband) and she gets "Are you the Nanny?" sometimes.

Interestingly, I'm caucasian with my little latino looking son (because of my husband) who does not look related to me. I never get that question.
thepascuas said…
awww she is cute! Me gusta que eres directa con tus hijos , en realidad el tema de color de piel no tendria que ser un tema tabu y es bueno mostrarselos de esa manera asi ellos aprenderan que no es algo importante. Cool. Kudos.
Shahny said…
Aw I love Nati! She's so cute and totally looks like you!!
olivo said…
florcita lo mismo le pasaba a tu mami cuando eras una baby pensaban que no era tu mama pero no saves cuanto te cuidaba a veses la familia en houston pensaba que exajeraba era muy divertido ver atu mami cuidar a su negrita te amo florcita
Jodi said…
FLOR...I know what you mean! Sebastian is very light compared to Jorge and he has blond hair. I ALWAYS get stupid comments. One time, someone close to me even had the nerve to say, "do you think people wonder if he is not really Jorge's baby?" You can imagine how hurtful that was. But like you, I always retort, "He looks like Sebastian."
Jen said…
I love Jeannette's comment above. It is true that many families go through these moments. It is not always easy. There is a wonderful book that helped with my daughters' questions about why our family is all different colors: The Colors of Us by Karen Katz. I recommend the book highly--it has all ethnicities and all shades of tan and brown represented. It helped my children see that the world is made up of many shades and colors--and that it is beautiful.
everythingiric said…
Those pictures are too cute.

The next time someone wants proof that you're daughter is yours, show them the hospital bill. :)
everythingiric said…
Those pictures are too cute.

The next time someone wants proof that you're daughter is yours, show them the hospital bill. :)
olivo said…
florcita lo mismo le pasaba a tu mami cuando eras una baby pensaban que no era tu mama pero no saves cuanto te cuidaba a veses la familia en houston pensaba que exajeraba era muy divertido ver atu mami cuidar a su negrita te amo florcita
Jeannette villalta said…
Many families also go through those moments, I remember when my older son ask me the same question and with a lot of nature without doing greater enfacis in the topic I respond: We are unique that's why we are all different, can you see the rainbow? it is beautiful aah? what makes the rainbow so beautiful that everyone wants to see it? and he said: The colors. Aja!! Can you see now how important is the difference of colors? we all are different because together we make a beautiful rainbow and we can do amazing things. Each one of us are important. He was 7 when we talk about it and I think or I want to think he was pleased with the answer hahaha because he never ask again. Thanks for your topic and your blog I like it a lot, you have a very beautiful Family. =o)
Karla Campos said…
Great lesson here, I agree with you 100% that we should teach our kids to embrace people and all of our differences. Your daughter is very cute by the way!
IG said…
Nati really is cool and really curious and observant. Her and her little friends do think they run the place though haha love nati. the zoo was fun. hope we can go again soon.

some of the plants are huge!!! tomorrow..... we prepare the coup. lol

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