Stop Being A Little Girl

I'm reading this book, it's really cool because it's helping me figure out why it's so hard to assert myself as a woman instead of a poor little girl.

I remember a time when I felt so guilty about talking about bad things that happened to me or that others did to me or of telling what really happened. (not slander or disrespect, just truth about things that you have overcome) When I felt guilty about being mad when I felt betrayed or I found out someone lied to my face. When I heard people say I was exaggerating or a psycho because I reported things that the law allows us to report and be protected from. When supervised visitation was the only visitation my heart felt comfortable with. When I didn't want to have a baby by myself and considered adoption. When I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant because I didn't want to be. 

The law protected me (not easily but through proof beyond a reasonable doubt) and my rights but society, and many of the people around me, didn't. 

Some thought I was being mean or harsh because I was protecting myself and my kids and asserting myself as a woman. I think even now, some people may read this and think they are smarter or better than me because they keep their troubles deep inside and never assert their freedom from society, others offenses or even themselves.

This struggle is one of the hardest parts of my path to freedom (which I haven't finished walking). 


It is not crazy OR mean to: 

want to be happy. 

want to feel appreciated. 

hate being pregnant. 

want to do everything you ever imagined. 

assert yourself as a woman. 

be single or married.

distinguish the actions you will allow in your life. 

avoid people that make you feel sad, depressed or even mad. 

not be friends with people who have hurt you. 


Our life is full of our personal choices. Choose to be happy, then imagine yourself there. Now, how did you get to that place? What people are there with you and what people aren't? What actions and decisions today will lead you to be whatever it is that brings you true happiness? 

Comments

Di said…
Precisely! By claiming ownership over your rights, civil rights or the rights to feel the emotions you’re feeling, you are changing your life and the life of others, even more specifically the rights of your daughter who will grow up as an empowered woman, knowing what she is entitled to . . . I am sick of this Pollyanna culture telling us all is ALWAYS well.
Jodi said…
I love this post Flor. That is awful people treated you that way and I am glad you defend yourself and your family. Your kids are so lucky to have a mother like YOU! I really mean that. :) XOXO
I'm right there with you Flor! I've gone through a lot with my family and my husband's family. A lot of people telling me how I should feel, that I should "get over it", that I should still visit or talk to certain people that not only hurt me, but haven't changed and continue to hurt me. You're doing the right thing. Often it's family and friends who are the hardest on us because they believe that they have claim to your life and the right to think out loud about your mistakes. It's important to trust yourself though, and I think you're on the right path amiga! Strength in numbers! ;)
Adriana Iris said…
you are the master of your own universe... love the post.
Irina Mishell Lopez said…
Question! I was just wondering who the author so I can look up the book! I would love to read it!
Irina here is a link to the book information

http://readingwitheyesshut.blogspot.com/2011/05/nice-girls-dont-get-corner-office-101.html
Irina Mishell Lopez said…
Question! I was just wondering who the author so I can look up the book! I would love to read it!
Adriana Iris said…
you are the master of your own universe... love the post.
Di said…
Precisely! By claiming ownership over your rights, civil rights or the rights to feel the emotions you’re feeling, you are changing your life and the life of others, even more specifically the rights of your daughter who will grow up as an empowered woman, knowing what she is entitled to . . . I am sick of this Pollyanna culture telling us all is ALWAYS well.

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