I DESERVE to get a night off. YEA MIJA but not every night!
Since I started bloggin I get this on ocassion:
You are a success story! I look up to you for overcoming abuse, stuff like that which don't get me wrong makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. Yay people read my blog and they like it!!
BUT today as I was talking to a recently divorced friend, I reminded her:
My Battle Ain't Over!
I haven't "made" it just yet. No me puedo confiar.
Every day of motherhood, newly married life, existence in general is a struggle.
Not a day goes by on easy terms and if we break it down even further, every day
our heart, liver, lungs
get us through with constant work.
(((PUMP PPPUMP PUMP PPPUMP!)))
Constant movement. Constant forward movement.
There are days that I move sideways, parallel moves are good when you are happy, right?
I remember doing assertions: Keep moving. Work each day to make your life one ounce happier.
Sometimes though life does catch up and...
I guess sometimes as long as were moving we may step backwards a little bit too.
If life finds u when your stumbling about, it will suck you into it's drones of boredom, complacency and mediocrity. I think this is what happened to me a couple years after my separation.
I became real content with this idea that I was strong I had fought with nails and teeth to keep my kids, provide for them on my own and to be as successful as I could be as a single momma.
I confess... I thought:
Damn B! I thought I had it made when I could take Fridays and Saturday nights to go out and party with my girls. I thought I had it all down. I got into this draining, deconstructive routine. Work, school,hang out with the kids, party on the weekend.
A couple months, then month after month.
It caught up to me quick! My mom, sisters, dad, brothers, my family, my heart they got tired of putting up with my little attitude thinking: "Hey I'm a single mom I DESERVE to get a night off."
"YEA MIJA! but not every night!"
It wasn't until they started saying NO! and I was literally stuck alone that I realized how much they helped me and how lucky and privileged I was to have the kind of support system that I do.
Not too many single moms can say they have the same (wish society embraced and cared for the single mother, instead of making her the target of endless propaganda about how she's gonna mess up her kids somehow) Good read on that tangent The Mommy Myth.
I love my family, our culture, our talents, our flaws and our perfect attributes.
Sometimes US hard heads learn the hard way, right? But the important thing is that we persevere until the very end.
Life don't stop cause you do, you gotta keep moving! Gotta keep moving Gotta keep moving...