I DESERVE to get a night off. YEA MIJA but not every night!


Since I started bloggin I get this on ocassion:

You are a success story! I look up to you for overcoming abuse, stuff like that which don't get me wrong makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. Yay people read my blog and they like it!!

BUT today as I was talking to a recently divorced friend, I reminded her:

My Battle Ain't Over!

I haven't "made" it just yet. No me puedo confiar.

Every day of motherhood, newly married life, existence in general is a struggle.

Every day…

Not a day goes by on easy terms and if we break it down even further, every day

our heart, liver, lungs

get us through with constant work.

(((PUMP PPPUMP PUMP PPPUMP!)))


Constant movement. Constant forward movement.

There are days that I move sideways, parallel moves are good when you are happy, right?

I remember doing assertions: Keep moving. Work each day to make your life one ounce happier.

Sometimes though life does catch up and...

I guess sometimes as long as were moving we may step backwards a little bit too.

If life finds u when your stumbling about, it will suck you into it's drones of boredom, complacency and mediocrity. I think this is what happened to me a couple years after my separation.

I became real content with this idea that I was strong I had fought with nails and teeth to keep my kids, provide for them on my own and to be as successful as I could be as a single momma.

I confess... I thought: 

Damn B! I thought I had it made when I could take Fridays and Saturday nights to go out and party with my girls. I thought I had it all down. I got into this draining, deconstructive routine. Work, school,hang out with the kids, party on the weekend.


A couple months, then month after month.

It caught up to me quick! My mom, sisters, dad, brothers, my family, my heart they got tired of putting up with my little attitude thinking: "Hey I'm a single mom I DESERVE to get a night off."

"YEA MIJA! but not every night!"

It wasn't until they started saying NO! and I was literally stuck alone that I realized how much they helped me and how lucky and privileged I was to have the kind of support system that I do.

Not too many single moms can say they have the same (wish society embraced and cared for the single mother, instead of making her the target of endless propaganda about how she's gonna mess up her kids somehow) Good read on that tangent The Mommy Myth.

I love my family, our culture, our talents, our flaws and our perfect attributes.

Sometimes US hard heads learn the hard way, right? But the important thing is that we persevere until the very end.

Life don't stop cause you do, you gotta keep moving! Gotta keep moving Gotta keep moving...



Comments

Ann Marie said…
Isn't it so great to not be single anymore?
Very wise thoughts...
Hope you have a happy weekend!!
Heather said…
Hi Flor,

I really like how your words connect with bigger issues and lift me in a way I don't expect!

My mom was a single teen mom. She was so muture and wonderful but she had few people to lean on. Now I really appreciate all that she did and how much of her own youth she gave up to give me a great life.

When you talk about the single mom thing - that is key to my economic system that will change the world. Yes, I have big dreams :) My theory is that if a single mom can work outside of the home to feed her kids and still have time to raise them into good adults, then you have the perfect economic system. It is clear that we are far from it today!

It's great that you matured. It's not easy to do. Our babies are our responsibilities and privilege. Women are given the privilege of being the creators of life and it bothers me when I see girls so flippant about sex. It's because our culture that does not connect those dots...that good sex and love leads to the great experience of being a mom. That would be a great idea, right?

Okay, off to change the world!
Rondi said…
Thanks for the follow! Following you on GFC and Twitter! Hope you enjoy your weekend! :)
Rondi
wahmresourcesite.com
moms-with-style.com
Ella said…
Flor- You are so right about the balance act that it is to be a woman, and also your time as single mom. l'm so happy that you have found someone to spend your life with and that you no longer live the single parent life. However, it's so great to see you don't turn your back or forget what it was like as a single parent, and all the things you learned as a result of that time.
I think we are constantly stretching to grow, and that you recognize the one step forward and the side steps and backward steps, reveals how thoughtful and insightful of a person you are. Because of that, you are a blessing to all. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us who follow you on your blog!- Ella
Heather and Ella:

I am glad you like what you read. I know that when I'm struggling with something and I read a judgmental or critical approach it makes me feel even more negative. I try to write my feelings down always thinking of how I would like to read them. I feel happy that others notice that I do think about my readers ALOT ;-)

Heather, I'm totally with you single moms should have the exact same opportunities as any other parent. Marriage should be an option that we choose to take not one that defines us as women or as people. That is a shift that society needs to make soon.

You are all a blessing in my life. It is incredibly uplifting to come check my blog and find beautiful, thoughtful comments like they ones you guys left.

Thank you so much for reading!

-love

Flor
Heather and Ella:

I am glad you like what you read. I know that when I'm struggling with something and I read a judgmental or critical approach it makes me feel even more negative. I try to write my feelings down always thinking of how I would like to read them. I feel happy that others notice that I do think about my readers ALOT ;-)

Heather, I'm totally with you single moms should have the exact same opportunities as any other parent. Marriage should be an option that we choose to take not one that defines us as women or as people. That is a shift that society needs to make soon.

You are all a blessing in my life. It is incredibly uplifting to come check my blog and find beautiful, thoughtful comments like they ones you guys left.

Thank you so much for reading!

-love

Flor

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